To Those Suffering

Jenny Zenner
2 min readJun 8, 2018


I assumed it was a heart attack for both the men whose wives were widowed. Not yet 50. Fit. Athletic. Lean. Brilliant.

Died suddenly.

The tech news headline. The Facebook status update.

Registering the words inflicted a bodily jolt.

My first thought, “Dammit! Why don’t men go to the doctor?”

Or did they do annual physicals and know cardiac arrest was looming? Or did the doctors miss it?

Fit, athletic, lean as in CrossFit studio owning, doesn’t own a car cyclist commuting forty-something lean. Smart and good looking. Nothing let go as they advanced into middle age for all physical appearances.

Epitome of athletic academic pedigrees.

Certainly heart attacks.

Died suddenly.


Apparently that is the going phrase for self-inflicted causes of death.

Instead of outright saying suicide.

Note to those struggling:

No investor wants you to off yourself for not hitting your numbers. You are not a failed human being by virtue of bankrupting a business. Being out of work does not make you unworthy.

You can ask for help. You can say,“This is beyond me.” Someone else can shut the doors if that is the only answer. But your wife (or ex) and your children and your pets and your parents and your siblings and your friends and, yes, your investors and your debtors and your employees you layoff want you alive.

And if you’re not fit or never married or otherwise feeling unworthy, we want you, too.

No A Round, B Round, angel equity to IPO story (or lack thereof) is worth your life.

But depression is bleak and dark and deceptive.

So you can’t hear me. You can’t register this writing as real.

But if you can see just a glimmer of light, let help into your life.

Measuring up to Elon Musk is not the standard.

Your life has meaning. What you do matters. Especially if what you do is ask for help. Letting others do for you to get you through is an honorable option.

The alumni magazine prefers no update to an in memoriam.

You can start here:

Or call here: 1 (800) 273–8255



Jenny Zenner

Hurdle your obstacles with grace. Developed the Stress Response Playbook F-ing A Framework. Internal Family Systems + Polyvagal Coach.